My first thought was…..hmmmm….is that banjo music I ear? Do these hills, in fact, have eyes?
But maybe we should start a bit earlier than getting into Ed….since, like they say, the journey is half the fun…
Ed, for those of you not familiar with it…which would logically be everyone in the world that doesn't live there….is about 170 km from Gothenburg….which is also not that big, but has an airport with one terminal and flights in from London, so they fancy themselves an International Airport. Anyway, its about 4 hours away from Stockholm, I believe.
Oh wait…I need to go even one step back…to my little faux pas at the security line in London…I will not go into detail too much here as your minds will wonder in, sadly, the same direction that security did. I had a banana in my backpack that I had planned on having as a snack….sounds innocent enough, right…well, you would be wrong! FYI for any of you flying in the near future…bananas cause a bit of a disruption when they go through the little scanner….disruption like it shows up a little strangely, causing snickers and silly grins shot in my direction by the TSA people. 'Nuf said.
Anyway, we had arranged a taxi from the airport in Gothenburg….hmmmm….where is the little taxi guy with the sign that has our names on it? A quick call to the company and we find out that the airport called the driver to let him know our plane was delayed, but failed to call him back and update him on the new time. Yes, you are correct - there are many things wrong with that statement. 1 - the fact that the air traffic controller can call the taxi companies to let them know if planes are delayed gives you a bit of an indication on the size of this place and how busy the day must be for said controller. 2 - ummmm….interesting since our flight left London 5 minutes early.
Anywho…the driver shows up about 15 minutes later in, what else, a little Volvo! I don't want to stereotype here, but if we were to see an Ikea, I would have been in HEAVEN!!
Off we go, me up front since car sickness is still a bit of a problem and we had 170 km to make it through….2 k into it, though I had serious thoughts about trying to vault myself into the way back of the wagon as the driver hadn't bathed, I think, since maybe 1973.
He consulted the GPS, called the dispatcher, and then informed us that he wasn't sure where Ed was, his dispatcher couldn't find it, he thought he could get us close, then he'd find a local with a map - so sit back, we should be there in about 2 and a half hours….oh joy, since it was only 10:30 already, I couldn't imagine this little trip not taking me into the wee hours of the morning and into parts unknown.
Sonia, my friend, co-worker, and current partner in crime, was in the back and I so wanted to text her to talk about this craziness, but my phone was in my bag in the back!! She had been to Ed before - she said it was like and hour and a half trip! What is he talking about 2 and a half hours??!!?
About 20 minutes into it, he informs us that we need to stop for gas. He gets out and I whip around to Sonia…she had the same look on her face that I had on mine!
She had tried to email/im/text anyone we thought might have a clue about how to get to this place….honestly, who puts a call centre in the middle of nowhere?!!? Before we could get to into our discussion, though, Smelly Driver hops back in the car and away we go.
Now, my math isn't perfect…but our total journey was 170 km, we had already gone 40 k, and when I glanced at the speedometer we were doing 140 kph….hmmm….what time warp were we going to be going through that would make this a 105 minutes?
Ummm….well, maybe there would be an explanation….is that his check engine light on?!?!!?
OK - it’s a bit official now…I'm not too proud to say it….I was a bit on edge at this point….HELLO….Situation Room…Wolfe Blitzer, can we get an update…'Well, Tiffany, at this time we are about 120 k away from the drop zone…possibly since the leader of this platoon does not know the coordinates of said drop zone. We are running with vehicles that may or may not deliver and protect us and its now 11ish in a foreign country where our only guide smells like dead feet.
Situation - Code Red.
Hello God, this is Tiffany….I know its been a while and I really am sorry for that, but can we talk a bit?
And so the time passed on…the kilometres passed by…and my sanity passed out around midnight.
Ummmm…….is that the red light on by the gas gauge?!?!
OH
MY
LANTA
What else could go wrong here?!!? We have now turned off the main road….the little GPS says that we only have about 30 k left…what's that?…like 18 miles? I can so walk that if need be…I only have a backpack…
Now my eyes are basically glued to the dashboard, as the km tick by and my potential hike gets shorter and shorter things are looking brighter….and logic would dictate, that even though we are in a volvo - one of the most reliable cars on the market - in any country…oh - and we just passed a gas station!! The gauge must be broken - maybe that explains the check engine light…but still, eyes glued to the dashboard…when they weren't watering from the horrible waves of noxious fumes emanating from the driver.
OH YEAH!!!! I s that a sigh for ED?!?! WHEW HOOO!!!! 22 Km!!!
We might just get there in one piece and with no break downs!!!
Ed….8 km
That’s less than 4 miles - bring it on if the car breaks down!!
Hmmm….we seem to be going further than 4 miles…..
Ed….18 km
WHAT?!!?! So we pull over and Skippy the Driving Wonder calls over to dispatch again….this time, though we end up getting coordinates - yeah - you read that right - dispatch whips off the longitude and latitude and back on the road we go
Ed…does that say welcome?!?! It says something about Ed and that close enough for me!!!
Luckily, there is only one main road in Ed, so it was easy to find the hotel. The taxi dropped us off and we kindly paid our 3000 Kronas…roughly £250…$500.
We had been told earlier in the day that since we would be arriving after hours, they would just leave our keys in the red box beside the door to reception….sounds interesting.
The place is completely dark….and there are about 10 sets of doors….and no red box in sight.
We walk about half way around the place checking doors and nothing.
Oh look…there is one door with a light! Lets try it…
DANGER WILL ROBIN….DANGE WILL ROBIN!!!
Alarm going off….red lights flashing…..what the ?!?! Who leaves a door open when it has an alarm on?!?! Who are these people!?!?!
What to do….what to do?!!?
Stay…run….stay….run…..
Happy medium…lets walk towards the other side of the building…..oh….is that a red box?
Oh…is that a security guard coming up the road?
We grab our keys and meet Mr. Securitas (Swedish for Security) in the parking lot….I give him the flimsy excuse of the door being open and trying to find the key…he just nods and gets back in his car and leaves….apparently securitas is not so tightas….
Thankfully we get to our rooms, which were 'nicely appointed efficiency apartments'….all together now…can you say allegedly?
I opened the door and walked into a summer camp cabin….circa 1956. Who are these people?!?! I thought Sweden was the efficiency Mecca for the world….the utilitarian capital of the universe?!?!
I would have given my last frequent flier miles for some clean lines and white counters….can I get an amen from the Utilitarians?!!?
The wallpaper was mustard colour stripes - not sure if it started out that colour, but after 50 years, that is what it had faded to. Beautiful linoleum floors…I mean honestly, it must take an extreme amount of skill to lay something like that in such a manner that you know in 5 decades it will warps so perfectly as to create an ocean wave like feel to the place…
The microwave had dials…I can only assume this was maybe installed at the same time they put the Beta VCRs in the rooms?
The bed was 2 twins pushed together…my thought was, 'Score!! Double bed!!' This is actually not really common when travelling in Europe and its really a treat when you get a double bed…or two singles…and you didn't ask for them. Then I looked and thought, 'hmmm….strange they put the sheets on, but left the comforter folder? Lets just shake this out and all will be fine.'
I shook, expecting it to unfold…no luck…I had a single comforter for my 'double' bed…oh well…who cares? I was dead tired and wanted to pass out before I thought too much into this place and started to freak myself out…I had visions of the Mothman tapping at the windows, people under the stairs…the dude from The Shining coming after me…this is maybe when I need to rethink the amount of telly I watch when I can’t sleep at night…
The people there are actually quite nice, though, so no real issues there….
We did have a little bit of a worry at one point, when one person told us that they rent some of the extra space in the building to the school across the street that has continuing classes for the mentally challenged…then someone else told us that we had been using temporary employees from the school across the street to assist us in answering customer calls since we had recently had high call volumes….um, there is only one school across the street that we could see….I don't want to be rude here…but you put the math together…
Come to find out that the woman that told us about the mentally challenged students may have been a bit challenged herself since the school across the street was a community college that had a hospitality degree and some of those students work in the Expedia Contact Centre…makes much better sense.
Anywho, for dinner that night we had our choice of 2 places…Ed's or The Inn. The Inn had stuffed animals on every available space on all the walls and ceiling…including a moose's head on one side and said moose's backside on the other….not the hind legs and body…just the backside and tail…lovely to look at while eating dinner…
Wednesday evening our flight was out of Gothenburg at 9:10pm. We thought that maybe we would do the budget conscious thing and take the train from Ed to Gothenburg. The train went through Ed twice daily and we thought that it was a little early - 3:30 for us to leave, but we could kick around Gothenburg for a bit and all would be fine….famous last words….
We go on the bus at 3:28 and were to change trains at 4:04 at one of the stations.
Announcement Lady nicely informs us that there is track work, so at the next stop, we are all to get off the train and onto buses for the rest of our journeys…
So onto the bus we go…for 2 hours.
We got to Gothenburg around 5:45 and didn't need to check in until 7:10 at the earliest. So, we walked around Gothenburg for a bit. It really is a nice little city, and there was a cultural festival going on that week, so it was a nice little break.
Around 6:45, we grabbed a taxi for our 30 minute little jaunt to the airport.
Hmmmm……sky looking very ominous…very black all of the sudden.
Oh my…blinding rain…lovely….my flight better not be delayed!! I want out of this little country!!!
Oh look!! There's Ikea!! I saw a really Ikea in Sweden!!!! FYI, all those crazy names of stuff at Ikea are actually names of cities and places in Sweden - no joke, I saw directional signs for places that I know to be furniture at Ikea!!
Anyway, we make it to the airport unscathed and in time to check in our required 2 hours prior to departure.
Just to set the picture, the Gothenburg airport Check In area is roughly the size of…oh…a Claire's boutique! And the Restaurant is about the size of an Arby's…this was going to be a long 2 hours.
We were only delayed 20 minutes, though, so off we were headed for home.
Now, because we were going in and out of Stanstead Airport - the airport which is the furthest from Central London as you can get without crossing into another country or hitting water - I had to grab a train back to the city…55 minute lil' journey.
Once off the train…at 11:30 at night, I head for the tube…sit on the tube….sit on the tube…sit on the tube…find out there are (obviously) severe delays on the Yellow Line…and head up to ground level to hail a taxi…which as fate would have it was driven by the oldest, chattiest, most directionally challenged cabbie in all of London that was lucky enough to hit every bump, red light and road construction area in the greater London area…oh joy!!! What travel gods did I tick off!?!?!
So 10 hours and 15 minutes (1 hour for the time difference) after leaving the office in Ed…and 6 modes of transportation later, I made it home…safe and sound to my lovely double bed with its lovely double sized comforter, its walls painted in this century, and its floors all nicely even:)
