So Friday night, the infamous words of, "Hey, lets just go out for one drink. Really, just one drink since its been a long week for everyone and we're all exhausted."
So, always being up for meeting some new people, I agreed...I mean really, it was only one drink, right?
So we all go to this place called The Couch. By 'we all' I mean Trish and Josh, my two new friends who are also both new to London. Trish is from Cork, Ireland and has been here about 6 months, and Josh is from the Seattle office and has been here about 6 weeks. I thought I made friends pretty easily, but Josh makes me look like a backwards Jr. Higher! I think he knows half the London population already! Anyway, he and Trish and I meet up with Tova, G (his real name is much longer, but none of us can pronounce it, so he's just G) and Liz...for one drink.
Now 'The Couch' is quite the little hang out. Completely packed elbow to elbow at 6:30 on Friday. We find a place at the bar and place our orders and I start to look around...it was my first time there. I look over and see a couch (fyi, the place has random couches around, hence the name), but this couch has two little tables in front, by tables, I mean 1 ft squares of wood - like little side tables but next to each other. The reserved sign say, 'These two tables are reserved for 15-20 people' No joke!! 15-20 people? Little people? Who are these 15-20 people that can fit around a 2 ft square space? The only thought that comes to mind is when my sister once told me about a little girl in one of here elementary classes a few years ago that had 20 little imaginary friends that fit into her pocket. Where these those little people? That might explain the space...or lack there of...that someone felt would accommodate 15-20 people.
But nonetheless, everyone seemed to respect the sign and no one was sitting on the couch or around the two little tables.
So after lurking for a bit, we all get a table (a normal sized table) and start to de-stress for the week. We were there about an hour, then Tova and G decided that after going out every single night for the week, that they needed to actually get some rest, so they left. Then Liz decided she had better hit the road as well since she had to be up early the next morning to clean out a storage shed she had with her ex-boyfriend. Apparently the breakup was amicable, and they were still friends and didn't have a problem sharing the storage shed. However, now he had a new girlfriend and she seemed to think that the sharing of the storage shed was an unnecessary link with his ex, so poor Liz got kicked out of the shed. Even she admitted that that seemed a new low for a breakup...getting kicked out of a storage shed.
That said, Josh and Trish and I were left to figure out plans for the rest of the night. We decided that we were hungry and that since 'The Couch' had gotten even more packed, we wanted to go out some place that was a bit quieter.
So off we went to meander through the streets of London to find something tasty for dinner. After ruling out Chinese, Indian, Japanese, Italian and French, we decided to go to Ed's...its a big crazy 60s diner that serves burgers and fries in American style with Buddy Holly playing in the background. On our way there, though, we came across Patisserie Valarie. It was this incredible little bakery that had these absolutely incredible desserts in the window. Trish decided at that point that she needed to have dessert. So, since it was only a block away from Ed's, we would go there first, then come back and have a great dessert at Valarie's....Trish didn't really have to twist Josh and I's arms on that little deal....
So off we go to Eds....at first, everything was fine...the place was packed, so the 3 of us take seats at the counter and place our orders. We were having a great time, chatting it up and laughing away the night.
At one point, this guy sits down next to Trish...the seating arrangement is a bit crucial at this point, so I'll explain, we are at the counter, Josh in the middle, Trish on his left, I was on the right, so this guy sits in the stool on the other side of Trish. Since we were kind of on the curve of the counter, Josh was sitting at the corner of the curve, meaning Trish and I were tilted a little towards each other, and the new guy was at an even sharper angle, so here was kind of facing me a bit.
So now that you have the picture.....
There we are, eating our hot dogs and fries and just telling each other random stories, and this guy kind of laughs here and there with us. Not that he was eavesdropping or anything, but he was sitting right next to us and we were probably a little loud, so no big deal.
Anyway, he keeps laughing and whenever he looks up a bit, he kind of looks at me and smiles. So after one of our stories, he starts laughing and looks up and I say, "Bet you didn't think you would be getting free entertainment with your dinner, tonight."
To set the mental image a bit...he had a great smile, dark hair, dark complexion, like maybe he had a bit of Greek in his blood or something, maybe 6 ft tall, had on a suit, and had a great sense of humor.
He sort of laughed again, and then Josh and Trish realize he was listening and we keep talking and just sort of bring him into the conversation. I will admit at this point, I kind of though the guy was flirting with me, but to be honest, I'm not really good at the flirty thing, but I seemed to be doing OK this time...or so I thought...
So we talk for another 30 minutes or so and then start to head out. We say our goodbyes to the stranger - we hadn't exchanged names or anything - and we walk out the door.
Once we get out the door, I say, "See, now that's the kind of guy I could see myself with."
Josh says, "That's too funny, I was totally thinking he was the type of guy you might like!"
Trish says, "You should have given him your number."
"Please, first, I couldn't just give a random stranger my number. Second, I can't even remember my number!" I say.
Josh and Trish then proceed to tell me to go back in and get his number. "What's the worst that could happen? You'll never see him again!" was Trish's argument.
So I start to walk back in..."WAIT! Give me you're backpack!" Says Josh.
Did I forget to mention that? Yeah, so I had a backpack with me that day. I usually don't carry it with me, but I knew I would be bringing my laptop home that night, and I didn't have my briefcase here yet - somehow that got packed in my sea shipment and is somewhere in the Atlantic right now. Also, since it wasn't too cold out, I had my jacket in the backpack as well, so basically, I looked like a kid going off to school with this stuffed backpack on. Nothing says fun and flirty like a stuffed backpack weighing you down!
Anyway, I hand off the backpack to Josh and in I go...the whole time thinking, 'Why am I doing this? I hate asking guys out! This is so not me! I am 30 years old and I can't believe I'm trying to pick up some random stranger from a diner!"
So I get back in there and he is standing up to leave and turns around and sees me. Oh man....Oh man...he sees me!!
Do or die here Veder......
"Um, hi....look, I'm not really to good at picking up guys, but I was wondering, if you're interested, would you maybe like to grab a drink or dinner sometime?" Oh man...was that me? Was that my mouth speaking those words?
"Um, well, yes, I might," he says....and here it comes...."but I don't think its going to turn out the way you think."
huh? what does that mean? I didn't think he would say yes, so I would I have thought about the outcome that quick?!?! Then it strikes me...he must already have a girlfriend!!
"Oh," I say, "Are you already seeing somebody?"
"No, um...ah...I'm gay."
WHAT?!?!?! GAY!??!!? Seriously?!!? Are you kidding me?!!? How does this stuff happen to me?!!?!? What happened to my gaydar!?!?! Did it get damaged in the move across the pond?!?!!? What the..!?!?
Uh oh...now its getting a little awkward since I'm not replying...better say something....
anything at this point would be fine......
Veder - move your lips!!!!!
"Oh, that's OK, I just moved here, so I need to make friends."
yeah - nice - pathetic...great recovery there girl....
"Well, great then, let me get your number then." he says.
Thankfully in a burst of realization, I remembered my cell number. So I give it to him and he puts it in his phone and sends me a text with his name and number.
Turns out his name was Sarkis - I was right - there was greek in his blood...too bad I didn't pick up any other obvious clues!!
"Well, give me a ring and we'll meet up again. Sorry its not what you were thinking, though."
Why does he keep apologizing?
I plaster a smile on my face...."Great! Talk to you soon." I say and basically bolt out of there.
I zero in on my targets....my two partners in crime that will now be the victims of my wrath....
"Um...hello...I know my gaydar isn't perfect - but yours should have been going off!" I say this to Josh...did I mention he was gay?
"What?!?! No way!! He's not gay!"
"Well, then I don't know why he would have said it if he wasn't!! Any hetero guy would have said he already had a girlfriend - not that he was gay! Who lies about that?!?!" I ask.
"Wow, I totally didn't get that vibe." says Josh incredulously.
"Yeah," agrees Trish, "totally didn't get that at all!"
"But at least you did it!! Good for you! That takes courage! So what happened?"
"Well, there was no nice way of getting out of it," I say, "Not like I could have said, 'Oh, well then, have a nice life.' So I gave him my number." But its at this point that I realize, I think I might have transposed the last 2 numbers of my phone number!
"Well, then you never have to talk to him then." agrees my two voices of reason.
So off we head to Valarie's to drown my sorrow in chocolate and tea....
For the rest of the night here and there out of no where we each randomly burst out, "I can't believe he was gay!!" We randomly review the entire conversation from the diner and can not pick up, in hindsight, anything that would have given a clue that he was gay. Josh still doesn't think he was gay, but then we can't figure out why he would say it?
Yes, we had a great laugh over out exquisite desserts...mostly at my expense...and continued to talk the rest of the evening away.
At one point, Trish blurts out, "Um, maybe we should have known. I mean, we are in Soho on a Friday night and all. Plus, maybe that should give us a clue."
As Josh and I turn to look at what she's pointing at, we realize its a wedding cake topper with 2 guys in tuxes holding hands.
Oh man.....
So now we have a running joke amongst our little crew. Whenever we see a guy that is obviously gay, the both of them look at me, do the motion of taking off a backpack and nod their head in the guys direction.
Yeah...next time, I will be eating dessert first and checking out the wedding cake toppers at the counter.
1 comment:
I don't understand why you just didn't stay here in the states and become a writer.
Love ya,
Erin :)
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