Since there are no real kayaking groups or anything of the sort in London - odd since London is on a river, but whatever - I located an adventure and outdoor outfit that boasted great 1 on 1 afternoon lessons with experienced instructors on a beautiful lake close to the heart of London….hindsight being 20/20, every word of that sentence proved to be, by English standards, a stretch of the imagination and by American standards, an outright lie.
As the big day drew near, the weather, in typical English style, wavered between a sunny forecast and possible rain. A friend gave me some great advice when I first moved here, 'If you let the rain get to you, you'll never leave your flat!' I've tried to keep this in mind, and have learned to not even notice the intermittent drizzle.
In preparation, I received seemingly direct directions from the coordinator. I also talked Josh, my American friend and exploring buddy into coming along for the fun of it.
Everything seemed to be falling into place and it looked like I was on track to have a great afternoon on the water!!
But as you may have gleaned from my past blog misadventures, things do not usually go smooth or as planned with me.
I woke up Saturday morning to a torrential downpour.
I could not find my water resistant capris…the ones that I love!!
Since craziness happens in 3s…I was just waiting for the next thing to pop up…though, in all honesty, I've really come to enjoy the craziness and chaos that usually accompanies my careful planning….
Around 10ish, the rain stopped, though and while the sun didn't come out, the rain was holding off, so that is as much as any Londoner can ask for.
I packed my rucksack (backpack), filled my water bottle, called Josh to make sure he was out of bed, and headed to the tube station to meet up.
Oh - I have to interject here about my rucksack contents. We've covered this before, so when instructed on what to bring in my kit, I knew exactly what they were talking about!! But then when I looked at the kit list, I started to wonder what kind of 2 hour session this would be….the S.S. Minnow was only out for a 3 hour tour and I don't think they had this much stuff onboard!!
Recommended Kit contents for the 2 hour kayaking session:
Jacket / waterproofs Plastic bag to store wet clothes Sun hat / High factor sun block Umbrella (I am guessing either you need the sun block or the umbrella) Large towel Spare trainers (sneakers) Something to tie back long hair No jewellery (since this attracts fish?) Any medication you are taking and may need to take while climbing. (Climbing what? Over each other in a mad dash for the kayaks?) A bottle of water A packed lunch Flask of hot drink (are they assuming we will capsize and need hot drink? What kind of drink are they referring to that would require a flask to be contained in….drinking and kayaking don't seem to go together in my mind…there's laws about that in the states) Wet wipes and tissues (I don't even want to know) A bag for your rubbish (how much rubbish could you have in 2 hours…how much could you bring in that packed lunch?) A waterproof camera (now I don't want to point out the obvious here, but this is a kayak lesson…if you have a camera, and you want to have it ready to use at a moments notice…where are you putting it? In your lap…capsize and say good bye….around your wrist…paddling will prove a bit clumsy….and what are you taking pictures of anyway…its only 2 hours on a lake for a lesson…are these really Kodak moments?) What I actually packed: My water bottle A change of dry clothes A granola bar An umbrella My cell phone My wallet A towel And I wore a waterproof windbreaker So off I go to the tube station. I met up with Josh and we made a little snack stop before we headed out.We get on the train, only to find it absolutely packed!! Come to find out that the football (soccer) premiership (aka English super bowl) is just a week away and all the playoff games are going on - at Wembley Stadium, which is the way we were headed.
Luckily we found free seats and after 4 stops, we passed the stadium and practically had the train to ourselves.
The first indication that I should have guessed that the lake was not 'close to the heart of London' was that it was in zone 6…I have lived in London and have never been further than zone 4…I didn't realize that there ever were 6 zones…and, come to find out, there are actually 9 zones in total!! It’s like if I were in the states, in Pittsburgh, cranberry would be zone 9! That’s a long way from zone 1 where I am!!
Nonetheless, zone 6 was only a mere 14 stops from where we got on, so 40 minutes later, we are at the Uxbridge station! I was instructed by Val, the kayak coordinator, that 'from the Uxbridge station, get the U9 bus that will stop on request at Dewes Lane, from there it is only a 600 metre walk to the lake."
How hard can that be???
We exit the station and spot the bus stop for U9! The train ride took a little longer than I had anticipated, so I called the coordinator, told her we were a bit late and would be there in about 15 minutes. She said no problem, if we were at the station we would be there in no time.
Josh and I were a little confused, I will admit, with the concept of the 'bus will stop on request'. In London, the bus would not stop in between stops if you went into labour, fell to the ground unconscious, or suddenly burst into flames!! Stop upon request? Were they serious? Granted, when we stepped off the train, I did comment that it didn't feel like we were in London anymore…it felt more like…well…what I would think Iowa is like…we were out there. So maybe they do stop when you ask them to here?
So the bus pulls up and I politely ask to be dropped off at Dewes Lane…and I get a look that clearly says this guy has never heard of Dewes Lane. Hillingdon Lake? Still getting the same glazed and confused look….
Never fear!! From behind me comes a small voice, "Where ya trying to get to sweets?" I turn to find a girl of about 18 looking at me. I tell her and she assures me that I am on the right bus. Josh and I get on and sit down and she comes over and starts whipping off directions to us. She starts talking about little alleys and side streets and blah blah blah….
Josh and I just looked at each other when she walked away…."Um, did she actually tell us where to get off the bus, though" I asked. "No" said Josh. "Oh, well maybe she'll let us know when we get close."
Sure enough, we go past a few stops and she comes up and says that this is where we want to get off….odd since it was a real stop and the directions said we had to ask to be let off? Another indicator could have been that we could overhear her and her boyfriend talking the entire time and he kept saying that he had never heard of the place…curious thing that.
So we get off the bus and look at each other a little confused…this kinda doesn't feel right…we frogger our way across the road and start out following her directions…only to learn very soon that we are no where near where we need to be…we don't know where we are…or where we need to get to, but we aren't there….
We call the coordinator lady…she has never heard of the street where we are and asks if we passed the dogs trust? The what? Dogs Trust…no idea what that is, but Josh saw a sign for it, so we must have passed it.
Back across the street we go….the next bus comes and I ask, since I like exercises in futility, if he knows where Dewes Lane is. Same blank look…. How about the Dogs Trust? "Oh!! You've not gotten there yet, get the bus on the other side and it will take you right there!"
Back across the street….another wait for the bus….
Since I learn my lessons the hard way…"Do you stop at Dewes Lane?"
Blank look!!!!
"The dogs Trust?"
"Right luv, hop on, its up aways."
We cover about 5 more kilometres and are truly out in the country now. What was that girl thinking? Was the alley she referred to some sort of body transported like on star trek?...cause there is no way that an alley could have taken us here!!!
The bus drops us off and the driver tells me that to get home, we just wait on the other side of the road and hail the bus…again - totally unheard of in London!!
We walk down this lane, past some sort of backwoods mechanic shop…we start to get a feeling like there might be banjo players about or something… then the lane finally breaks out and we see a whole recreational area ahead.
The lake, about the size of a large parking lot at a mall or something…just one side of the mall, though, not the entire lot…lays ahead of us.
And there were kids everywhere….if you know me, you know I've just rolled my eyes.
We make our way over to the log cabin - the designated meet point - only about 45 minutes late - and meet our illustrious guide.
The man looked a bit out of sorts…to put it nicely…I think maybe its possible he bathed in the lake water, which would explain the state of his hair (aka wild man meets a cyclone look). Also, he would have looked like the rugged outdoors type had he weighted more than, say…a boy scout.
Anyway, we exchange pleasantries and he asks if we are ready or if we needed to change? Now, I suddenly had flashes of my mother asking if I am going to wear that? What does he mean do we need to change? Clearly he is implying that we need to, but we are both in waterproof pullovers, old shoes and waterproof pants…what else did he think we needed to have on? We're here for a 2 hour lesson, not a 2 week outward bound adventure….
Oh…clearly this is what he meant….he pulls off his shirt and jacket and starts to outfit himself in a wetsuit….how wet does he plan to get? I don't plan to get too wet, here, so I think that is a bit unnecessary….whatever….
We get a little overview of the basics, then hit the water.
Now, I'm not saying it was completely the kayak that was the issue, but for nearly 2 hours, I basically went in circles to the left. Try as I might, paddle as I may, I would go straight for a bit, then sure enough, I would start to turn in circles to the left.
We were on river kayaks which are a lot different from sea kayaks…and much harder to manage, but still! I remember my last kayak outings as being fun and relaxing…this was for the birds!!! I am not worried about Greece, though. I am going kayaking - sea kayaking - again the weekend after next and I am sure it will be a much better time.
Anyway, Paul, our instructor extraordinaire takes us through some techniques and around the little lake and shows us a few tricks. One said trick almost made me tip - I even took on a little water!!! Close call!!!
Tricks you ask? Yes Tricks. Why do you call them tricks? As Josh so eloquently put it…'they are tricks since I can't seem to do them' Truer words were never spoken
We go about for a while and make our way towards the far bank…towards some swans. Side note, I accidentally called them geese and poor Paul about had a stroke…SORRY!!! Didn't know the English were so touchy about their birds.
So to set the stage, I am closest to the bank, but looking away from the bank, Paul is about 10 metres away from me, facing me, and Josh is about 15 metres past Paul, also facing me.
Paul begins to tell us a story about swans and how they attacked a friend of his. He suddenly becomes animated in this retelling and I was almost afraid he would tip…plus I can see Josh, but Paul can't and he is making all kinds of faces and hand gestures behind Paul - making me laugh all the harder - making Paul think I find his story funny…in all honesty, the wind was whipping a bit, and I only heard about every 5th word of the story! But the harder I laughed at Josh, the more Paul thought I was laughing at his story – talk about a vicious cycle!!!
Anyway, we finally make our way back to shore…even with my circular direction!! We successfully extract ourselves from the kayaks – without tipping!!!
We switch into dry clothes, say our thanks and good byes to Paul and call it a day.
Back up the lane we go…seriously wondering if a bus will really stop if we just wave at it. In London a bus won’t stop for you if you lay down in front of it!! Also, we were curious to see what a dog trust is. We had gotten off the bus and headed down the lane so quickly that we hadn’t really looked.
As it turns out, a Dog Trust is the equivalent of the SPCA in the US. I think it might be a bit nicer, though, since it was set out in the country and it looked like the dogs had a place to run and play…but what do I know?…I’m not really a dog person, but it seemed like a decent place for a dog to end up.
So we only had to wait for about 1 minute – perfect timing!! – and the bus comes rumbling around the corner.
Slight problem – we haven’t crossed the road yet!! In London, this would be no question – you missed the bus. Not so in Uxbridge!! The driver looks over at us and we wave and he nods and winks, pulls over and waits for us to cross the road and hop on!!
What?!?! Has the bus fairy blessed up out here? Have I become so accustomed to the London transportation system and it’s consistently crazy idiosyncrasies?
Apparently so….
Also, as it turns out, it is one of the three bus drivers that we used to get to this place!! We couldn’t remember which one he was, but he remembered us and seemed not so surprised that this is where we were….interesting….
Back to Uxbridge we go, all the while commenting about Little Miss Helpful with the bad sense of direction…how did she think we would get to that lake from where she told us to get off at?!?!? Crazy!!
But it could have been worse….we could have gotten attacked by the swans!!
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