Point in fact, for 3 years throughout college, I played racquetball every Tuesday night…and I never won a single game. Was it because I was bad? No. Was it because I had no idea what I was doing? No. Was it because I wasn't as fast as my opponent? No. It was for one reason only…my opponent needed to win.
I was in it for the social factor. I just wanted to get out and play ball once a week, get a good workout, and touch base with a good friend since our class and work schedules didn't allow too much free time. Did I ever feel bad about it? No!
The first time that we ever played, I scored the first few points and all the sudden I was seeing a new side of my friend….and it was not pretty. So at some point that first match, I started to pull back a bit…miss a return here…hit below the line there. What difference did it make? I was breaking a sweat, we were having a good time, and its not like I was trying to qualify for the Olympics or anything (is there racquetball in the Olympics? Maybe not - but you get my point).
I am a firm believer that for every poor loser there is a poor winner as well.
I have won my share of racquetball matches since then and had just as much fun since the people I was playing with were like me and didn't care which of us won so long as it was a good game.
I believe now, though, that my competitive spirit lay dormant through all these years though. I believe that it may have been due to the fact that I have never really found the thing that I needed to win at.
Until now.
Until rowing…(said in a voice full of reverence and determination)
Granted, I have never really rowed in my life…outside of the occasional afternoon kayak outing…but when presented with the possibility that I may get cut from the Sons of the Thames Novice Rowing Team (admittedly a sport that I have no experience in and an activity for which I only joined in an effort to meet people and get a fun workout) I have decided that this possibility is just not acceptable!
So here's the deal….a month ago I decided to meet up with a friend from the states in Athens and do a week long kayak trip thought the Greek Islands in July. Even though I had been working with a personal trainer and holding my own in the gym for the past couple months, I decided I needed to throw something new in the mix…and those of you that know me know that when I decide to do something…the small scale never seems to be my first option. So I thought to myself, I like the golf and tennis leagues that I was in when I lived back in the states, so there must be something I can get involved with here in London.
Golf was out since lugging the sticks through the tube on a weekly basis didn't sound like fun. Tennis was out since I tried in vain, but have yet to find any local leagues (surprising since I am 8 miles from the tennis capital of the world). So then I thought...as I was on the rowing machine in the gym one night…that I like the rowing machine - what about a rowing league?
Thus began my search for a rowing club. I mean honestly, this is England, weren't rowing and sculling created here? So I hopped on Goggle and found about 15 local rowing clubs.
Hmmm…which one to call first? Which one would be blessed with my amateur rowing prowess? How do I choose? Which clubs are close? Which clubs only require me to change tubes once to get there?
7 calls down the list and I was a bit frustrated, though. Apparently many of these clubs are not so welcoming of the beginner rowers…really, how is one to become a good rower if no one will teach them!?!?
5 more emails proved to the same result…well, 3 emails really since 2 of them never responded…and I finally found the Sons of the Thames Club. They are an old, but small club that 'welcomes new rowers'!! Plus - and bonus points here - they are as much a social club as a competitive club!!
These are my people!!! Social rowers!!
So I signed up and waited patiently for the first practice day…3 weeks away!!
This past week, I was like a kid waiting for Christmas! I was so excited!! What would it be like? Would there be nice people there? Would I make friends? Would the boat capsize? What would I wear? What do rowers wear? Would they look at me and think, 'Wow, look at her! She's a natural!! I thought an American wouldn't be able to row - but just look at her!! Do you think she would want to be the 4th for this weekends regatta?!?!'
Then the email came…
The email from Don, the organiser (no - not misspelled - they don't use z's over here like we do in the US) of the novice group, stated that there had been such an overwhelming response for this years spring session that they were going to make the 1st three practices would be land based - using the rowing machines to learn technique, learning the safety stuff….yada yada yada…. Then, there in black and white, 'after which time assessments will be made and some of the participants will be asked to continue with the training sessions for the team.'
WHAT!?!?
Now, I have come to love the way in which the English seem to add so many descriptive terms to a sentence that they turn the intended negative into an slight positive - just last night on the news a knife that was found at the scene of a fatal stabbing was described as 'a rather large and definitely effective instrument of death'…kudos to the knife for being effective…forget the pesky death reference.
But this was a bit much! Did he just say he was going to cut the dead weight? Slice off the fat? Only the strong will survive?!?!
Well, not me!! I, novice though I am, will not be cut!! And thus it was discovered…I am competitive!
Now I was worried…how many people had signed up - the nerve of them all! What skill level did they have? Where they really novices, or would I be up against a bunch of weekend rowers looking to join a club since all the other clubs turned them down!?!? Oh man!!! The pressure!!
Fast forward 3 days…4 sessions in the gym...25000 metres rowed on the ergo machine…3 miles run through the streets of Germany and London (I was in Germany on business when I got the bad news - thankfully I had thrown my sneakers in the bag!)…and Saturday was upon me!!
I awoke at 9am and immediately hopped on the net to figure out the best route to get to the club…tube or bus? Definitely the tube…which line? Hammersmith or District? Which station? When to leave? How much time to allow for? Any planned weekend work on the lines?
If Wheaties is the breakfast of champions…does that include rowing champions? Do they have Wheaties in the UK? OH NO!! No Wheaties at the grocer!!! What would the breakfast of a rower be?!?! This little wannabe rower ended up having some yogurt, a banana and a granola bar.
Now I have to pack a kit….what is a kit?!?! The email said bring a 'kit suitable for gym workouts' I assume 'kit' is the same as 'stuff' right? I did well on my SATs and I remember the context clue stuff in the comprehension section…I think a kit is the same as stuff…better Google it though…don’t want to be the only one that didn't know what a kit was…even though I probably am, but they don't need to know that! I mean, really, what would happen if I assumed kit was the same as stuff and then it turns out that kit means something totally different and I didn't know it, didn’t bring the right thing…and BAM! Off the team!!
Thanks Google - 'kit' is totally the same as 'stuff'!!
But I don't want to ride the tube the whole way there in my workout clothes…if we’re working out, then I'll be all sweaty, so I'll need to shower and change before I hop the tube home…better just throw everything in a rucksack (backpack) and be done with it!!
Time check…1pm..heading out the door!! On time as usual!! Need to be there by 2 and I should even be a little early.
Score!! The tube is on time!! Its like all the signs are pointing to a good practice!!
Changing lines…from the District line to the other District line…yeah - there are 2 district lines in London - one goes halfway around the city, then the other one branches off down to the south west of the city, but to get to the southwest one, you have to get off the other one…who plans this stuff?
Time check…1:25….two stops to go…I am golden!!!
1:35 and I am getting off at the tube stop!
Uh oh…which road is the one I need? I think its this way….
Hmm…this doesn't feel right….
Uh oh…time is ticking…oh! Let me ask this woman!
DANGER WILL ROBIN DANGER!!!
In London…NEVER, NEVER…did I say NEVER ask an older person for directions!!!
Old lady with the shopping bag on wheels proceeds to tell me which way to go….then another way to go…then something about a path and around a garden!?!
HUH??!? Something about Mr. Riley's house?
I GOTS TO GO!!!
I have basically gleaned that I was heading the wrong direction…all I needed to know lady!!!
Can't be rude, though…but time is ticking and I can't be late for the first practice!!!
She's saying something about a bakery with the 'loovly' muffins, not the one with that used to be a sad little tailor…her incredible powers of observation for routes does not carry over to observations of people…since she does not observe I am not paying attention!! I am on the balls of my feet, itching to run, like a kid who needs to go pee! I must end this madness!!!
'Ok, I think I have it now…around the path at Mr. Riley's garden, past the bakery, look for Ravencourt Rd. Thanks!!
This is all said with a wave and a slow trop off in the right direction.
Off subject a bit here, but it must be said, that at any time when you ask a proper englishman/woman for directions…you will get everything but!
'How do you get to Pith's Corner?'
'When do you need to get there?'
'Now'
'Now? Well, if you needed to get there now, I'd have left long before this! Yesterday, say! You could take the A4, but with this being the 3rd Tuesday of the 8th month, that means Mr. Hadley's taking the goats to market and you're be hard pressed if you get behind him. Now you could take the A12 to Suddlershire and then take the roundabout and that the shortcut past hedgerow on the old parson's green…not the one on the field to the left…..'
And so it goes for 30 minutes or so and by the end you could have 5 strangers or passersby involved in the task!
Anyway, so back on track to the club house!!
Time check 1:40…almost there, just 2 blocks to go!
Uh…what the?!?!
I have just walked down a seemingly quiet side street and come upon a 3 lane major highway…with a sidewalk!!! This should be an exit onto I95, not a side street!!! Are these city planners on crack?!!? I need to get across this highway to the rest of the quiet side street on the other side!!
Hmmm…there has to be an over or under pass!! 50/50 chance…which way do I go??
YEAH!!! 40 yards down, there is an underpass and I am back on track!
Is that the Thames?!? Yes!!! I am so close!!!
There it is!! Linden House!! That’s the club house!!!
1:45!! Take that old lady with the rolling shopping bag - there was no path, no garden and no bakery…and she made no mention of a major highway!
So I introduce myself to the first person I see and strike up a conversation. Turns out Sari is one of the coordinators of the novice team I ask her where the locker room is and she is headed that way as well!
The first person I see could have a say in the cut decisions…better make friends!!
Um…this is the most disgusting room I have ever been in! It has the feel of a mud room neglected! There are 'wellies' (barn boots) lining floor around the parameter of the space. There is a smell that suggests something might have died…awhile ago. Thankfully there is a walkway of wooden planks in front of the benches. I set my rucksack down and happen to brush against the wall…it was wet…like when you get out of the shower and you had it too hot so all the walls in the bathroom are sweating…it was like that, but I didn't see a shower stall, so I just tried not to think how the walls would be like that…didn't something like that happen in the Amityville Horror?
I hurry up and change…dancing on one foot the whole time so as not to actually touch the floor…or bench…or walls…or really anything at all in the room….but all the while trying to make pleasant conversation with Sari so I don't get cut!! Talk about grace under pressure!!!
Then the thought pops in my head…after 6 months or so of being a rower, will I not notice the sweaty walls? Do I want to become a person that doesn't notice sweaty walls?
Upstairs we head to the meeting room for the start of practice.
Oh my!! There are a lot of people here! Half of these better be the club members or I have serious competition!!
I feel like the Greek God in the corner might be too beautiful to row, and then there is the chick in the corner that looks like she is on something and maybe she is too jittery to keep the rhythm of the rowing? That kid in over there looks like he's 12!! Did his mother sign a release form for him?!?! No, you have to be 18 to join - the disclaimer said so! Those 2 over there have on white sweaters and white shorts…did they mean to go to cricket practice and get the wrong address?
Is it wrong for me to mentally check people off the list of possible team members? Oh well…to err is human to judge is divine…or something like that….doe sit matter?
Oh my!! Is this what its like to get mentally psyched for competition? I am so competitive now!! Who am I!?!?
So now the club President has started to speak and give some introductory comments and an overview of the club and the next few practices.
Then he gets into the schpeal about cuts again!!
Now we are getting broken up into three groups; 1 to go over the basics of rowing and look at the boats, 1 to go to the rowing machines and learn technique; 1 to go for a run.
WHAT?!!? A run!!! I hate to run!!! I am so not a runner!! I am so slow!! The stamina to run around all day deserted me about the same time I lost my baby teeth!! What does running have to do with rowing!?!? I am so cut now!!!
My first station is to go to the rowing machines…and contemplate the time until I have to run!
As it turns out, I am a bit of a natural with the rowing machine!! I had a few bad habits that seemed to fix themselves with a little coaching. Turns out that the reason I can row so much on the rowing machine on the gym is because I am not really doing it right… Also turns out that when you do it right - it is absolutely exhausting…but in a good way…so I still like rowing.
Hopefully this natural rowing talent will put me high on the 'lets not cut them' list and make up for the low scores I get in running!!
After about 20 minutes, we switch station and it is upon me…the running.
OK - I am mentally psyched for this…I can do this….how far are we going?
4k?!?! Quick math….10k is 6 miles…5k is 3 miles…2.5k is 1.5 miles…so we are going like 2/2.5 miles?
OK….this is doable…I can do 2 miles…but I run/walk it!!! I HATE RUNNING!!! I do it, but I hate it!!
Off we go!! I am all about the pace…slow and steady wins the race…that’s like a proven fact!! The front of the pack raced off like they were being chased by the hounds of hell!
I hope they burn out quick…showing off so they don't get cut….they'll burn out and I'll slowly run past them thanks to my slow and steady pace!!
Oh man…is that crazy lady with the short shorts and bum pack (fanny pack) running her perky self over my way?!!?
So is now talking to me…I think she expects an answer! Is she out of her mind? Can she not see I am trying to breathe enough that I don't pass out...I can not waste break on talking!!
Chatty Cathy…take it down a notch!! I am only catching about half of what she is saying and trying to be nice since I've learned in business that 'it's who you know, not what you can do sometimes' and I hope that applies to rowing teams, too!!
Be nice…talk…be nice….turning blue here….think we are about half way….this is usually when I switch to walking…be nice…she's saying something about her knees…thankfully there is one other person behind me!
Oh, did I mention one chic didn't even attempt to do the run!! One down!!
Ok - that has got to be at least a few k's….and I am walking now since my side is on fire!!!
Chatty Cathy is still chatting away…
Ok - turning around now!! Half way there!!!
There are now a couple people behind me!! I can't believe I am this competitive!!!
OK…almost back to the clubhouse…I think I want to hurl…that wouldn't look good though…
DONE!!! THANK YOU LORD for allowing me not to passout, have a heart attack or throw up and make a spectacle of myself!!!
On to the boat overview….yes, that’s the boat….stern…bow…oars…
Oh question in the back….hmmm…she barely speaks English…the instructor has had to ask her to repeat her question several times…you really ought to be able to speak the language to be on the team…I an not believe I am having these thoughts….but honestly, how would you understand the rest of the team?!?!
Oh, she is asking how to spell bow and stern? Interesting.
More info….another question…
'Will we get wet?' Is she for real!?!? She realized the boat comes off the trailer and goes in the water right? She is so cut….
'Um, well, the Thames is pretty contaminated, right?'
Instructor guy; "Yeah, but as long as you aren't drinking the water and bathing in it, you'll be fine." (said with a slight smile and a hint of sarcasm)
'Um, what if you have an open sore on your foot and you're in the water - could it get infected?'
Hold the breaks there Sore Sally!! What's the deal? This is not a hypothetical question I think…do you have a sore? Is it so progressed that you are worried of infection? This is specifically the reason that I hopped on one foot in that skeevy changing room - so I wouldn't catch anything!!! SHE BETTER GET CUT!!
Finally practice was over….yeah - not getting a shower here thank you very much…no chance of me running the risk of catching anything for Sore Sally in the changing room (aka disease breeding ground). I'll sweat my way home thank you very much…I'm sure the homeless smell worse than me on the tube, so whatever!
Most of us head up to the social room to hang out a bit…this is exactly what I was looking for! Hanging out with my mates after a hard rowing practice…taking about rowing things and such….
Yeah, I now totally see myself with this crowd...still not touching the sweaty walls in the changing room….but grabbing a pint and discussing the days evens nonetheless!
I did end up meeting a few people; Aaron the kid that I thought was about 12, but turns out he is early 20s and is an accountant; Nicola who has the same views of running and the changing room as myself; and Pierre (not actually Pierre, but I can't remember his name, and he's French, so it's Pierre until I learn differently) who is new to London as well.
So thus begins my illustrious rowing career….tomorrow night is practice number 2….we shall see how this goes…
Hopefully a few less people show and that means less to cut! Oh man…this competitive spirit is unreal!!
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